EST. May 2000 (AD)


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A Day in the life of Martha Stewart



16:00 Don floppy hat and check K-Mart for product placement. Have shelf-stacker fired.

16:30 Drive past ex's house.

17:00 Write script for next day's taping.

17:01 Teach cats to sing.

17:35 Sit in Suburban with binoculars and scout for trespassers.

18:00 Call daughter and ask her if she knows where nail file is.

18:45 White glove test in furnace room after dinner.

18:30 Create new colours and think about getting all rights to red.

18:40 Fire drill.

18:45 Call daughter and ask if she phoned. Make up something about being in the shower.

18:48 Have 4 pizzas sent to ex.

19:00 Whip up a night cream out of mayonnaise and egg shells.

19:20 Bedtime.