HAPPY WOMAN MAGAZINE - A PARODY OF WOMEN'S MAGAZINES

Diary of Mrs. Claus

By Sharon Grehan-Howes

December 13

Tonight over dinner Nick seemed preoccupied. I asked him what was bothering him but he just grunted and said "nothing".

I wish he would share with me. He just shuts me out. When I try to get him to open up he says I just wouldn't understand. It's not fair.

I've lost 4 pounds! My smock definitely feels looser and I have much more energy.

I don't know what to get Nick for Christmas this year. What do you get for the man who makes everything?

December 14

Balthazar and Roofie's report has depressed Nick. According to their study Nick's management technique has been too autocratic. The pressure he applies each November/December does result in increased productivity but it upsets the equilibrium. They say he has to deal with the hostility and apathy he creates by concentrating more on the driving forces than the restraining forces. He has to start concentrating on long-term goals rather than short-term. Well it's all Greek to me but I do know that Nick can be very bossy.

Nick didn't react well to the report and stormed out to the workshop. He insisted the elves line up and demanded to know if they thought he was autocratic. The elves of course swore up and down that he was the perfect employer but I'm sure I saw a few of them smirk. It's hard to tell with elves though.

December 15

I got my hair frosted and bought a yellow pantsuit. Nick didn't notice.

December 16

We had a rather large argument after dinner. I tried to tell Nick that I need more. I need an equal partner. I told him that I just didn't feel important anymore and he flew off the handle.

He said I don't understand the pressure he is under, the demands that are made of him every year. He said I can't comprehend the stress that a man in his position has to deal with.

I was furious because it's always about him. His work, his career--what about me? I'm wasting away on the vine. There are things more important than a job and it's time he got his priorities in order.

He stomped off and sulked in the workshop and I ate an entire tube of marzipan.

Something has got to change. I think we need counseling.

December 17

Took a quiz in Cosmo and I think Nick is definitely suffering from a Saviour Complex. I left it out for him to see but he just laughed until his belly jiggled.

I'm thinking of taking a course in computers.

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